Are Panties an Outfit?
I have no propensity for the labor of getting dressed. Add that lack of energy to the fact that when I slide a leg into a pair of pants, nothing quite fits the way it previously did in Q4 of 2019/Q1 of 2020. These days if I call myself getting dressed, most of the excitement is happening above the décolletage– thank God I’ve been keeping up with my skincare. You may get an earring, an eyebrow, an eyelash full of mascara, a neck full of gold but nothing much is happening below that in the way of actual clothing which begs the question: What role are clothes even playing in my daily life now that I have nowhere to go?
Truthfully, nude is my center– it’s how I wake up, it’s now I go to sleep, it’s how I make breakfast– it’s how I’ve probably answered more than a few of your texts and emails– but I’m getting bored. I miss my clothes being on display for the general public instead of putting on clothes because they’re clean and will get my through the day. It’s not validation I’m in search of but I miss the effort of looking good. The excitement that comes with donning clothes for a specific occasion and/or purpose. Watching Golden Girls reruns and being a cultural critic for the atrocious behavior displayed on Sex and the City, though extremely important and critical, don’t necessarily require much ostentatious habiliments outside of a sweatshirt once belonging to an ex that is growing more snug the longer this pandemic rages on…but I digress. Where was I? Oh yes, nudity.
Surprisingly, underwear has connected me with my wardrobe in an unexpected way. It’s an in-between for the clothes that no longer fit and the way I long to show up in the world: sexy, confident, unbothered, unfazed by gazes. Is this look sustainable for rejoining society? That has yet to be proven because to this day I can walk down the street, glasses foggy, hair 2 weeks deep in its unkemptness, and still be called “sexy” so I’m not sure if the streets can handle this look just yet but for now, underwear will act as a conduit between where I want to be stylistically and where I am in this current moment.
